What's this?

Remember that cute little puppy my old man got me. Yeah, its remarkable how something so small could have such a huge impact. It just goes to show that big things can come from small packages. I can't even lie, I've slacked off on just about everything for well a good while and little Paz has done, well I don't know what he's done but he's done something.

He's barely 8 weeks now, almost 4 pounds, he's a baby. Earlier today Paz was playing upstairs with Calma, my big dog, and my mom and Victor were there. I was cleaning the house, because well that what I do around here. According to my mother Victor picked up Paz and put him on his lap. At some point Paz bit Victor, who then threw him across the room with all his might. My poor baby was crying horribly so I ran upstairs and grabbed him and we came down to my room. Hearing him like that, it was enough to break my heart, and break it did, as soon as i started down the stairs, I found myself crying. Somehow his pain caused me pain. It was inexplicable, I didn't know why I was crying. Was it fear, sadness, pain, worry, or my favorite, anger? Don't get me wrong I wanted to get up and punch Victor in the face for being such an idiot, but I couldn't, I couldn't leave his side. For the next two hours, I found myself just laying with him, as tired as I was I couldn't fall asleep. I didn't want him out of my sight even for a second. True story, I took him into the restroom with me for the record fastest shower I've ever taken in my life. I got to thinking while laying there, is this how mother's feel? A type of unconditional love that just surpasses anything ever experienced? If so, I kinda like it. The feeling is indescribable. I find it amazing that I've only had this little beast for a couple of weeks and already what I feel is overwhelming.

Everyone that knows me knows me knows my loves: eating, sleeping, and showering. Music is up there too but I feel since there are musics i do not support that it doesn't retain love status.... that said i really really like music. Anyway, little Paz wakes me up when he pleases. Put it this way, waking me up is like taking the pin out of a grenade when you're trapped in a room, you can hope its gonna be a dud because I'll blow you to pieces. It takes skill to wake me up, and I must say he's got them. Today, my shower was about 5 minutes long. I love water, I feel that if i had a past life I was a manatee.... not a fish, not a dolphin, not a shark, a manatee.... because they're fat, lazy, and just plain chill. All those other fish/mammals whatever are like all over the place, I don't want to be one of those..... I like the manatee. Anyway I'm done rambling, point of the story is that i love showering and even that love had been limited. It is safe to say that I am not starving myself, that would be too much.

What is this power that this little bundle of joy has that gives him the ability to do that which others wouldn't even dream of? I feel that Paz will do a lot for me with his un-Paz-ness. He makes me happy, makes me smile in a way I haven't smiled in a while. I feel that this little beast will open up my heart for the better. I'm kinda excited.

The Perfect Woman

Earlier, and by earlier I mean at 6 this morning when Paz woke me up, I was reading a friend's blog. My friend Jared, genius man, very stylish. Pretty much his blog tells me what's hot, and what to be on the lookout for, along with some things that he deems important.

One of his older posts talked about what he sees in a woman, like the perfect woman. He divided this concept into a triangle of sorts, the whole three sides ideology. it was very short and sweet.

1. looks
2. brains
3. cook and dress well

in regard to looks he did not start rambling off, well she has to be a size 4 with a coke bottle facade, he didn't degrade with comments like ugh i hate blonde girls. in regards to looks he stated that said perfect woman must take care of her body. he elaborated a bit more. he said, she doesn't have to be a health freak, just not a female that eats junk food everyday and works out periodically.

I'd like to point out several things. Never in his 11 line blog did he state she has to be pretty, shorter than me; he didn't restrict himself to a race or religion.

Next, the brains. He starts off by stating "brains last must longer than looks." I have always said Jared is a genius. He detested ignorance but did add that you do not have to go to school to be educated, to be knowledgeable. He then continues discussing a couple of, in my view, standard female attributes: communication skills, independence, confidence, and self-honesty.

By communication skills I do not mean a woman that talks and talks and just doesn't know when to stop, I mean holding a conversation, a real conversation. Politics, sports, current events, education, conservation, the whole she-bang. Now for the independence. Girls, lets face it, men nowadays want a woman that is able to take care of herself. A coupe of decades ago it was OK, I'm gonna get married to this guy and he's going to be with me FOREVER and I'm gonna sit at home and take care of his babies. Ladies, forever has come and gone. Nowadays people are getting divorced just as often as they pay the bills. Independence is important for financial stability. Lets say you meet the love of you're life and you get married and everything you hoped and dreamed about comes true.... until a couple years later when you have a couple kids, a mortgage, and a pair of cars to pay off that he wants a divorce. You spent all day everyday at home, the perfect housewife. You have no other skills, what do you do when you are so savagely thrown into the real world? You have all these radical women screaming out womens' rights, there is a reason for all of this. The men of the world have spoken up about this as well. This is obvious through songs and TV shows. Jamie Foxx, Ne-yo, and Fabolous did a collaboration called "she got her own." It's really a deep song. it talks about loving women for being independent and having their own things. the fact is that today, being independent is sexy. Beyonce jumped on the band wagon a couple of years earlier with her song "Me, Myself, and I" in which she talks about being able to depend on only herself.

Finally, I feel that confidence and self honesty go hand in hand. A woman without confidence is worth nothing. We as women must be cautious and aware of ourselves. We must be able to differentiate between confident and cockiness. Arrogance is not sexy. Women, know what you're worth; if we cannot find our worth how can we expect others to find it. Let's touch self-honesty a bit. Be honest to yourself. We all came out of the same mold but there are variations in the fitting. Not everyone can be a size 5, I mean I can, but not everyone can. That said, I know that as much as i may diet and exercise I will never be a size 2; I can lose the inch of fat and gain muscle, but my bones aren't moving, my hips will not shrink. We must all have the realization of our limits. If I haven't been to the gym in 3 months, which is currently the case, I can't go back tomorrow and be on the elliptical for an hour. Just as we need to be aware of our physical limitations, it is more important to know our emotional limitations. If you love animals but you know you faint at the sight of blood, maybe being a veterinarian isn't for you; that doesn't mean that you should stay away from the animals, just from situations in which you will not be able to handle them.

Lastly, that which he deemed of the least importance: being able to cook and dress. Being able to cook is still associated with females. Guys love women that can cook, that is not likely to change. Ladies, this doesn't mean we have to slave away in the kitchen the rest of our lives, but it would be of some use to shadow our mothers every now and then to gain some pointers. As i stated before, Jared runs a fashion blog. He dresses as nice as they come. If i could pay him to dress me everyday I would.

Jared's perfect woman triangle, was very simple but perfect. It covered all that was necessary.

he finished off his posting with a song by Nujabes featuring Substantial called Think Different. Its not really my jam, but the message was umm, inspirational, check it out.

BTW you can check out Jared's blog although you will not find this particular posting of his... it's really old.... but you will be able to step up your game when it comes to lookin' good

Guess who's back....

So its been a while since i blogged.... i must say i have been busy.

but now that im gettin ready to start a new even more intensely exciting year, i feel that its necessary to step up my game. no only will i be sharing all about my college life stuffs, but also i'll be discussing topics that just come to mind, my opinions, which leaves the general topic choice wide open because i've always got somethin to say about everything...

For a quick update...

I'm living in an apartment this year, i ended up signing a lease with Lidia and her brother Victor but here's the thing.... victor got the transfer to ut but he didnt get into the business school so it'd be dumb and massively expensive to go to UT when ur not in the school you need to be. they're both mainly on loans so yeah, its not smart. Pretty much he stayed in UTA. It's what i would have done and i dont blame him. that said him bailing affects me in no way financially. we all have separate leases, but he does screw over his mom because she cosigned for him. it does affect me because i tried so hard to KNOW who i was gonna live with, me with my neurotic self, but even then, massive fail. so the apartment complex should assign us somebody. i kinda feel sorry for them.... me and lidia both have dogs... i wonder how they'll feel about that. oh yeah btw, my old man got me a dog. Gomez in Athens brought him over for me on Tuesday. It was an intense moment. my momma didnt know and i wasnt sure how she was gonna react, actually i was hoping she wasnt there at the time of the tradeoff but my plan failed, she was there but she wasn't completely upset. not visibly anyway, which is what matters afterall right. I named him Paz. He's 6 wks old and was born June 13th. He's really little and sleeps alot. Anyway i felt Paz went very well next to Calma and i love the Paz, Calmense song, which came to mind at the time, sue me.